7 Ways to Protect Yourself From Attracting a Narcissist

Stop Narcissists from messing up your life

This is a comprehensive guide that contains every information you need to deal with narcissistic personality. The program offers valuable intuition into how this condition is formed, the effects they have on developmental experiences, and how this personality affects the brain and eventually the information that can help you deal with narcissists. This program is wished-for for people that are fed up with the frustrations of dealing with narcissists. If you are fed up and don't want to put up with them or give up on them, then this program is perfectly for you. This program is not all about solving problems. It helps people who are fed up with frustrations of dealing with Narcissists giving them a better method of solving all the problems from home. You don't have to put up with their frustrations or even give up because there's a reliable solution. The main program is available in downloadable PDF formats. This means you can download the program from wherever you are without any issues. More here...

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Borderline Histrionic and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

And it is important to determine whether these symptoms cause clinically significant impairment or distress to the individual in comparison to what is culturally expected. Among Hispanics, this disorder might be confused with the cultural phenomenon of machismo in which a Hispanic male would be sexually seductive, feel uncomfortable if he is not the center of attention, and show exaggerated expression of emotions (Castillo, 1997 DSM-IV, 1994, p. 656). The DSM-IV did not provide descriptions of cultural variables in the case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Several symptoms in this disorder, however, might suggest machismo in cultures that are hierarchical. For example, symptoms resembling Narcissistic Personality Disorder are common in the Swat Pukhtun culture (Castillo, 1997). These symptoms might also be seen among macho Hispanic males, including the need for excessive admiration and the belief that he has unlimited power toward others (particularly females).

Narcissistic Personality

Persons of this type are frequently difficult to differentiate from those with a histrionic personality. Whereas the histrionic person is focused largely on romantic fantasies, the narcissistic person is additionally concerned with achievement in fact, any and all achievement is over-valued. The major problem for the narcissistic person, however, revolves around concerns with self-esteem. An exaggerated sense of self is reinforced by any meager evidence as well as diminished by minor slights. Consequently, there are moments of profound self-doubt in which the self is correspondingly undervalued. Fantasies largely focus on conquests characterized by themes of power, admiration, and exceptional success, along with anything else that may be perceived as exceptional about the self. In addition, such persons expect special entitlements and cannot understand why their needs cannot be gratified. Their interpersonal relationships tend to focus on what people can offer them rather than on...

Causes and symptoms

Both theories about NPD go back to Sigmund Freud's pioneering work On Narcissism, published in 1914. In this essay, Freud introduced a distinction which has been retained by almost all later writers namely, the distinction between primary and secondary narcissism. Freud thought that all human infants pass through a phase of primary narcissism, in which they assume they are the center of their universe. This phase ends when the baby is forced by the realities of life to recognize that it does not control its parents (or other caregivers) but is in fact entirely dependent on them. In normal circumstances, the baby gives up its fantasy of being all-powerful and becomes emotionally attached to its parents rather than itself. What Freud defined as secondary narcissism is a pathological condition in which the infant does not invest its emotions in its parents but rather redirects them back to itself. He thought that secondary narcissism developed in what he termed the pre-Oedipal phase of...

Avoiding The Retreat Into Diagnosis Labels And Theory

Retreat into theory on the part of the therapist can lead to disconnection and impasse. Similarly, personality disorder diagnoses run the danger of reifying, pathologizing, and objectifying the individual She's a hysteric, a borderline, a dependent personality He's a narcissist, a sociopath. Despite the descriptions in DSM-III and DSM-IV, which should make it clear that relationships play a large part in the pain and dysfunction of the people who carry these diagnoses, the notion is still that these are the most enduring, internal states and that once you have the label, you know what you're dealing with. This can lead to so many misunderstandings, distancing, and, ultimately, impasses. Perhaps we might begin to look at relational dysfunctions rather than personality disorders to aid us in our efforts to alleviate suffering.

The value of the publicprivate distinction

A mistrust of the private sphere and what it represents runs through Sennett's work. He sees the concern of the Western state with individualism as a near-narcissistic obsession with the self, a condition that leads to the imposition of individual values on all aspects of life, public and private. This, he argues, results in the public sphere being regarded as an inferior state because it cannot provide the individual with self-affirming

Social Factors In Personality Disorders

Personality disorders are dysfunctional exaggerations of normal traits. The amplification of traits to disorders depends on a combination of factors unusually strong temperamental characteristics, psychosocial adversities, as well as discordance between traits and social demands. The following sections examine the role of social factors in four common categories of personality disorder (1) antisocial, (2) borderline, (3) narcissistic, and (4) avoidant. 3. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) This disorder is rooted in narcissistic traits, amplified by psychosocial stressors (Paris, 1997). Although we have no good community studies of its prevalence, some clinicians (e.g., see Kohut, 1977) have suggested that more cases of NPD are being seen over time. Social networks are much less cohesive in modern society, and the absence of structure interferes with normal channeling of narcissistic traits into fruitful ambition. The trait of narcissism has probably not changed, but its...

Emotion Dyscontrolled Types Histrionic Personality

On the test protocol, the psychologist may note that stories typically are construed with magical solutions to problems involving interpersonal activities. On the figure drawings, cosmetic features will reveal a narcissistic orientation. The absence of eye detail along with the presence of a smile may appear, reflecting denial as a major defense mechanism. Denial nourishes the minimal use of evaluative capacities in the histrionic personality disorder. In addition, the psychologist can detect the person's inability to complete a task. On the inkblots, there may be excessive or arbitrary use of color reflecting emotional lability and emotion-driven responding. In addition, characteristics that may also appear include quick reaction times and an absence of concern with the logic of detail.

Borderline Personality

Three major factors describe this character disposition. First is the superficiality and lack of depth of any existing relationship. Second, there is an intense reservoir of anger just beneath the surface of ordinary interaction. Finally, instability characterizes self-image, self-esteem, and personal and sexual identity. Along with the store of anger, a complement of tenuous, shifting controls exists. The borderline personality, unlike the schizoid type, may report discomfort with periods of isolation and loneliness. Additional traits include pessimism and impulsivity. Addictive problems or traits reflecting compulsive, obsessional, paranoid, schizoid, and narcissistic tendencies frequently may exist. Additional formulations, with respect to An inconsistency may be noted between the coherent stories of the TAT, which reveal adequate reality testing, and the poor form quality and primary process material that may emerge on the more ambiguous format of Rorschach. The tendency for...

DSMIV and Dsmivtr The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual

A further break in tradition is exemplified by the dropping of the diagnostic category known as inadequate personality disorder from DSM-III and DSM-IV. In contrast to the traditional categories that have been deleted, however, recent interest and research in several areas have resulted in new inclusions. For example, both the borderline personality disorder and the narcissistic personality disorder have been added as discretely recognized diagnostic entities starting with DSM-III and continuing in DSM-IV. Similarly, the section on psychosexual dysfunctions has been greatly expanded in response to current interest and treatment approaches in this area. The diagnosis of minimal brain damage is reclassified in DSM-IV as an attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder based on insufficient evidence of positive underlying neurological trauma.

Dysmorphology clinics

The birth of a child with a deformity is a uniquely traumatic event for the mother. During pregnancy the child is considered part of her and so a deformity in the child affects the mother's self-image. This can result in conscious and unconscious feelings of devaluation and worthlessness. The thoughts might include, 'What is wrong with me Why has this happened to me What have I done ' Lax (1972) has described the process as narcissistic trauma and Kohut (1971) describes how the baby is experienced as the defective part of the self. The counsellor's explanations are vital, even if no cause is known, as they serve the function of balancing the mother's sense of personal responsibility. Solnit and Stark (1962) have described the responses as mourning and Fajardo (1987) refers to the ambivalence experienced by parents who have grieved for the loss of the child they expected to have. In studies of parenting it has been proposed that the deformed face is more difficult to read (Field and...

Other emotions frequently experienced in genetic counselling

The individual's belief in shame is that a personal inadequacy or vulnerability has been exposed to the world and results in a lowering of self-esteem and stimulates a desire to hide away. The genetic disorder is experienced as an attack on the sense of self, a narcissistic injury. It occurs in vulnerable individuals who have not experienced a loving relationship which includes an acceptance of faults and imperfections. Shame is therefore more difficult to work with as it can indicate a more sensitive and vulnerable personality in need of considerable support and empathy. The vulnerability and shame are often hidden under the cloak of anger and rage at the genetic discovery, and the counsellor may find the situation quite challenging. Attempting to understand the anger is often more productive than reacting to it or logically trying to reason it away. Both guilt and shame can be helped by an empathic and compassionate relationship with a counsellor who is prepared to listen to...

Is the Anxiety Consciously Experienced

In writing this section in a way that presents diagnostic implications, the psychologist may be able to distinguish between characterological or personality disorder problems and neurotic problems. When the behavior is ego-syntonic, that is, when the patient's problematic behavior does not cause personal distress, the diagnostic impression of a character or personality disorder can be considered. On the other hand, when the problematic behavior is ego-alien, the resulting intense anxiety is consistent with a diagnosis within the neurotic range. When anxiety develops out of fears related to loss of ego-intactness, this ego-alien experience can suggest the possibility of an emerging psychotic fragmentation. When anxiety appears in the self disorders of narcissistic and borderline personalities, the ego-alien experience suggests failures in respective defense patterns. In the narcissistic type, anxiety is generated by the frustration of entitlements. In the borderline personality,...

Psychoanalytic Models of Etiology

Stoller described sexual masochism as the neurotic eroticization of maternal hatred, a narcissistic solution to early life trauma (74), although in later writings, after observing many higher functioning individuals and couples who engaged in recreational S&M practices, he questioned his earlier assumptions (77,78). Kernberg suggested that masochists experience narcissistic gratification in the grandiose view of the self associated with high tolerance for pain (79). Waska described the masochist as alternating between compulsion toward servitude and rage at the internalized possessive, rejecting, or neglectful maternal object (80). The masochist suffers a core incapacity to self-soothe and, therefore, deep cravings to be soothed by others. The cravings, and accompanying rage, explain the masochist's inherently ambivalent position, in which self-suffering disguises feelings of anger and yearning for maternal soothing. Ultimately, his compensatory style is one of the expecting to be...

Personalityguided Context

Therapeutic efforts responsive to problems in the pain-pleasure polarity would, for example, have as their essential aim the enhancement of pleasure among schizoid, avoidant, and depressive personalities (+ pleasure). Given the probability of intrinsic deficits in this area, schizoids might require the use of pharmacologic agents designed to activate their flat mood temperament. Increments in pleasure for avoidants, however, are likely to depend more on cognitive techniques designed to alter their alienated self-image, and behavioral methods oriented to counter their aversive interpersonal inclination. Equally important for avoidants is reducing their hypersensitivities especially to social rejection (- pain) this may be achieved by coordinating the use of anxiolytic medications for their characteristic anguished mood temperament with cognitive-behavioral methods geared to desensitization. In the passive-active polarity, increments in the capacity and skills to take a less reactive...

Natural History And Longterm Outcome In Personality Disorder

Stone (2001) reviews the available data on the natural history and long-term outcome of personality disorders, noting that individuals within the 'antisocial realm' historically constituted a diverse group incorporating those meeting criteria for DSM antisocial personality disorder psychopaths, as defined by Hare et al. (1990) and individuals with sadistic personality disorder (Appendix, DSM-III). The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) (Hare et al., 1990) allows for the differentiation of psychopaths from individuals who are antisocial without scoring high on psychopathy. Recent studies suggest that the prognosis is considerably better for those in the latter group than it is for the former, who score high on the extreme narcissistic traits subsumed in Hare's Factor-I. While Dinwiddie & Daw (1998) found that antisocial personality disorder was largely stable over an eight-year follow-up, other studies have shown a tendency for criminality to decrease over time (Arboleda-Florez...

Theoretical Components Of The Model

The three copy processes have these respective names identification, recapitulation, and introjection. Using the SASB model and an early version of IRT procedures, Benjamin (1996) proposed that each of the symptoms of the DSM-IV personality disorders can be accounted for by specific copy processes usually found in their respective prototypic interpersonal histories. For example, if a child lives with a parent who unrealistically adores and serves him or her, the child is likely to develop a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and lack of empathy, as is characteristic of Narcissistic Personality Disorder defined in the DSM-IV (American Psychiatric Association APA , 1994). Copying exists in normal as well as disordered individuals. The SASB model defines normal in terms of behaviors that are friendly and that show moderate degrees of enmeshment (one person is in control and the other submits) and differentiation (one person emancipates and the other separates)....

The Role Of Social Structures In The Treatment Of Patients With Personality Disorders

Treatment of Cluster B patients must be pragmatic. In one long-term outcome study of BPD (Bardenstein & McGlashan, 1989), the ability to work was most strongly associated with stable recovery, whereas a greater investment in intimate relationships led to even more instability. Many patients have experienced insufficient structures in family life and in their social milieu. They need greater structure in their lives and in their therapy. Social structures that encourage persistence, competence, and achievement in work, as well as secure attachments in intimate relationships, can help Cluster B patients become less dependent on ephemeral reinforcers, such as sexual attractiveness or power. Therapists also need to help narcissistic patients by increasing commitments to work, relationships, and community external structures that often act as buffers for narcissism.

Research And Empirical Support

Cognitive conceptualizations of personality disorders are of recent vintage and, consequently, only limited research into the validity of these conceptualizations has been reported. Recent studies have examined the relationships between the sets of beliefs hypothesized to play a role in each of the personality disorders and diagnostic status. These hypotheses have been supported for Borderline Personality Disorder (Arntz, Dietzel, & Dreesen, 1999) and for Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive, Narcissistic, and Paranoid Personality Disorders (A. T. Beck et al., 2001). The other personality disorders were not studied because of an inadequate number of subjects. These studies show that dysfunctional beliefs are related to personality disorders in ways that are consistent with cognitive theory but do not provide grounds for conclusions about causality and do not provide a comprehensive test of cognitive conceptualizations of personality disorders.

Range Of Psychopathology And Personality Disorders Within The Scope Of Treatment

At the level of the personality disorders, the negative sides of the adaptations are used as a chronic maladaptive style. Pure types of adaptations are seen along with various degrees and combinations of the adaptations. For example, Schizoid, Antisocial, Paranoid, Passive-Aggressive, Obsessive-Compulsive, and Histrionic Personality Disorders are seen as the pure types of the adaptations. As to the Schizoid adaptation, three levels of personality disorders are apparent (1) Avoidant, which is the mildest version, (2) Schizoid, which is in the middle, and (3) Schizotypal, which is the most severe. The other personality disorders represent different combinations of the adaptations. For example, Dependent Personality Disorder involves a combination of the Schizoid and Passive-Aggressive adaptations. Avoidant Personality Disorder represents a combination of the Paranoid and Schizoid adaptations. Borderline Personality Disorder has aspects of both the Antisocial and Passive-Aggressive...

From Philosophy To Theory

The expression of traits or dispositions acquired in early stages of development may have their expression transformed as later faculties or dispositions develop (Millon, 1969). Temperament is perhaps a classic example. An individual with an active temperament may develop, contingent on contextual factors, into several theoretically derived prototypal personality styles, for example, an avoidant or an antisocial style, the consequences being partly determined by whether the child has a fearful or a fearless temperament when dealing with a harsh environment. The transformation of earlier temperamental characteristics takes the form of what has been called personological bifurcations (Millon, 1990). Thus, if the individual is inclined toward a passive orientation and later learns to be self-focused, a prototypical narcissistic style ensues. But if the individual possesses an active orientation and later learns to be self-focused, a prototypical antisocial style may ensue. Thus, early...

Complex Syndrome Treatment Goals

The interpersonal style of the schizoid, avoidant, dependent, histrionic, narcissistic, and antisocial personalities seem better assessed by the circumplex than do compulsive, borderline, negativistic (passive-aggressive), paranoid, and schizotypal individuals (Pincus & Wiggins, 1989). We would conclude then that any assessment of clinical syndromes and personality that is anchored only in the interpersonal domain, while informative, must be regarded as incomplete. Clinicians of an interpersonal bent must balance the increased specificity gained by using an exclusively interpersonally oriented instrument with the knowledge that the paradigm itself is acknowledged to be an incomplete representation of psychic pathology. The character and valuation of the self-image is often a problematic one, such as an unhappy and dismaying self-reality, seen in the avoidant's feeling of being alienated, or the depressive's image of worthlessness, or the negativist's sense of self-discontent. On the...

Application Of An Informed Classification To Therapeutic Strategy

As noted elsewhere (Millon, 1990), a theoretical basis is developed from the principles of evolution, to which three polarities are considered fundamental the pain-pleasure, the active-passive, and the self-other. As a general philosophy, specific treatment techniques are selected as tactics to achieve polarity-oriented balances. Depending on the pathological polarity to be modified and the integrative treatment sequence one has in mind, the goals of therapy are, in general to overcome pleasure deficiencies in schizoids, avoidants, and depressive styles and disorders to reestablish interpersonally imbalanced polarity disturbances in dependents, histrionics, narcissists, and antisocials to undo the intrapsychic conflicts in sadists, compulsives, masochists, and negativists last, to reconstruct the structural defects in schizotypal, borderline, and paranoid persons (Millon et al., 1999). These goals are to be achieved by the use of modality tactics that are optimally suited to the...

Communicating Findings

Impairments at this level have great difficulty focusing in a constructive manner on impersonal, external, and task-oriented requirements or on the realistic activities required to develop satisfying personal relationships. Rather, personal worries, narcissistic preoccupations, and unsettling inner conflicts replace action and drain significant energy away from external challenges and opportunities. These inner conflicts may appear as sexual preoccupations, masturbatory compulsions, dependency needs and avoidance of anxiety associated with risk-taking, and involvement in fantasies related to these preoccupations. Such findings are appropriate to discuss in reporting the impairments related to the patient's integrative aspect of cognitive functioning.

The Therapeutic Relationship

The therapeutic style should be markedly different with a dependent patient versus a patient with clear narcissistic or paranoid features (Velzen & Emmelkamp, 1996). When working with a dependent phobic patient at the start of treatment, it may be advisable to enquire by telephone how the homework assignments are coming along. With a narcissistic patient, however, the therapist would be advised to refrain from this as it may reinforce the narcissistic tendency to demand excessive attention. The same applies for the paranoid patient as this patient may interpret the therapist's good intentions as doubts as to whether he or she is completing the homework assignments. Note that later in therapy one should fade out the telephone inquiries with the dependent patient as well, as these calls may end up reinforcing the undesired dependent behaviours.

Long TermCare Facilities

The negative perception that society, and older adults in particular, have of nursing homes is due in part to the desire of older adults to remain with their families in familiar surroundings rather than being placed in an unfamiliar environment to be tended by strangers and await death. Accounts of unsanitary and unsafe conditions and inadequate treatment of patients by nursing home staff during the 1970s and 1980s prompted a number of investigations of the entire nursing home industry. One result of these investigations and the attendant publicity was passage of the Nursing Home Reform Act of 1987, containing a set of regulations that apply to all nursing home facilities. This legislation resulted in the gradual phasing out of the distinction between nursing homes and intermediate care facilities, and, more importantly, to a greater respect for patients' rights. Nursing home patients are now more likely to be treated as individuals who merit respect and should be permitted and...

Dynamic Psychotherapy

The authors describe STDP, based on the work of Davanloo, as more active and confrontational than BAP. The study included patients who met DSM-III criteria for compulsive, avoidant, dependent, or histrionic personality disorder, or more than one of these. The authors found no difference between therapies but patients in both groups were significantly improved compared with the waiting list condition on their primary complaint (Battle et al, 1966), the SCL-90 (Derogatis & Cleary, 1977) and the Social Adjustment Scale (Weissman & Bothwell, 1976). The original study by this group excluded patients with borderline and narcissistic features but a later study by the same group (Winston et al., 1994) incorporated some patients with Cluster B disorders and obtained similar results.

Defenses Used to Manage Individual Emotions

This defense mechanism is frequently utilized to counteract both depressive and inferiority feelings by means of fantasies of aggrandizement, behavioral quests for recognition, and an overall need for positive feedback. Disturbances involving narcissistic deficiencies also involve the use of this mechanism in which self-esteem is continuously bolstered by grandiose strivings, fantasies, and preoccupations.

Defenses and the Report

Several diagnostic implications involving the use of particular defense mechanisms were pointed out in the definitions of defense mechanisms. For example, the use of denial is typical of those with a histrionic syndrome. The constellation of defenses consisting of intellectualization, isolation, and undoing, often in conjunction with rationalization and sublimation, is characteristic of obsessives and compulsives. The use of displacement is typical of passive-aggressive persons. Compensation in patients with depression and narcissistic disturbances also is frequently found because bolstering or maintenance of self-esteem is a major need for them. Utilization of projection is typical of persons with paranoid inclinations in which hostility and aggressive motivations are overly ascribed to others. Splitting in the borderline diagnosis and regression among psychopathic, antisocial, or impulsive types are other examples of defense mechanisms that typically are seen in specific diagnoses....

The Good Target

The elaborated concept of judgability was proposed by Colvin (1993a, 1993b). According to Colvin, judgability refers to a manifestation of personality coherence and is reflected by the fact that consistent people are more likely to be judged con-sensually by informants as compared with less consistent people. In fact, judgability appears to be a stable personality trait over young adulthood and seems closely associated with ego resiliency, a general trait reflecting psychological health and adjustment. Judgability also seems to be a function of personality stability, which is why it is plausible to expect some kind of temporary nonjudgability in childhood and adolescence, where personality and behavior is usually less consistent as compared to adults. Nevertheless, some adults may still appear nonjudgable, because their personality is less consistent and associated with less adaptive reactions to stress and less self-control (Reise & Waller, 1993), or a result of personality disorders...


In another recent study, Raymond et al. (25) found that 93 of individuals with pedophilia had at least one lifetime comorbid axis I diagnosis. Highest were comorbid mood and anxiety disorders. There was high co-occurrence of alcohol and cannabis use disorders, and 60 had comorbid personality disorders, in particular obsessive-compulsive, antisocial, avoidant, and narcissistic. Contrary to commonly held assumptions, there was a relatively low incidence 23 of antisocial personality disorder.

Examples of denial

Certain personality disorders tend to be characterized by denial more than others. For example, those with narcissistic personality disorder deny information that suggests they are not perfect. Antisocial behavior is characterized by denial of the harm done to others (such as with sexual offenders or substance abusers).

DSM versus ICD

The DSM also includes narcissistic personality disorder, which overlaps with histrionic personality disorder, on the one hand, and with antisocial personality disorder, on the other hand. It is not separately coded in ICD-10. Cluster B dramatic-emotional-erratic, including antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorder

Traits and Types

Though they represent smaller dimensions of personality than types, traits may still be quite broad. For example, traits such as authoritarianism, humanitarianism, narcissism, and Machiavellianism (power-striving) may be so dominant or pervasive in a person's life that they are expressed in almost all of his or her activities.

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