The questionnaire

1. Family of origin

• Could each of you tell us something about the families you grew up in?

• Were you particularly close to anyone else in the family?

• Were there any severe conflicts between family members?

• Do you have much contact with any of your family now?

• Have you tried to model (or avoid) any features for your own family?

2. History of the couple's relationship

• What attracted you to each other?

• Why did you marry this person rather than someone else?

• How did your families react to your choice?

• How did the birth of your children affect your relationship?

• When was your relationship at its best? Why?

3. Experience in counselling and enrichment

• Have any of you been to 'marriage encounter' or similar programs?

• Have any of you been to any form of counselling?

• Did you go alone or with another family member?

• What did you like or dislike about the experience?

• In what way was it helpful or unhelpful?

4. Expectations and goals

• What was the reaction of other family members?

• Was there any particular event that triggered the decision?

• What do each of you hope to gain by coming for an assessment?

5. Family function 1

• What is it like for each of you to live in this family? (If children are present, they should be asked first.)

• Do you have any difficulty in talking to other members of the family? (Again, children first.)

• Do you have any difficulty in expressing appreciation to each other? (Mention here that studies on healthy families show that both communication and appreciation rank in the top qualities.)

• How do you show appreciation in this family?

• How do you show affection in this family? (Again, children first.)

• How satisfied are you with the present arrangement? Are there any changes you would like to see?

• What ways have you used to resolve disagreements or change the way the family functions?

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